I have encountered many young students especially law students who completely lose themselves when they have an ‘F’ in an exam. Some start feeling suicidal, some start considering transferring to another program, some completely lose focus and just go wild with more ‘F’s. It hurts me when I see such because I know that the ONLY problem I see on sight is lack of proper guidance for such a student.
You see, I understand that failing an exam can be a challenging and emotional experience. It’s very essential for one not to pretend to be a super human by acknowledging those feelings and allowing themselves time to process what happened. As a law undergraduate, I once had an ‘F’; so, I understand completely how that pain feels. That notwithstanding, it should never ever be the end of the world for anyone. A single exam doesn’t define you. There are always countless opportunities ahead of you, why lose it all for one ‘F’?
Let me share with you how I personally overcame the shock of my one and ONLY ‘F’ as an undergraduate law student in the University:
- Acknowledgment: I acknowledged what happened. I didn’t start living in denial. It was natural for me to feel very upset and disappointed in myself. I allowed my self to fully experience those emotions. I cried, isolated myself, asked God why many times etc.
- Be Kind to Yourself: After my full acceptance came kindness for myself. You know why? Because, I actually did what I thought was my best; it just didn’t work out. If I cried till eternity, there was no armadas coming from anywhere to save me.
- Reflect On Your Journey: I took out time to reflect on all that happened before and during the exam. I recognized that if I passed some other courses, that meant that I was not dull. So, deep reflections revealed to me that I failed that course because of ‘FEAR and ANXIETY’! There were too many stories about that course and the lecturer that from the first day in class till exam, I was panicking over that course.
- Take Your Lessons: Every failure carries valuable lessons. I learnt my lesson never to allow myself get wrapped in that type of fear ever again. I had never met this lecturer before, but I was already scared of her and her course. That gave my brain a pre-block towards everything that was taught in that course and it landed me an “F”.
- Take it as a stepping stone: When I discovered what happened to me, I told myself it will be a stepping stone for something better. Every great achiever in life faced setbacks, but they persisted and learnt from their failures. So, I opened my mind and created love in my heart for the course and the lecturer and gave that course my ALL. The rewrite was an “A”. I used the emotions from failing as the fuel I needed to do better.
- I sought Support: I reached out to friends and colleagues that did well and allowed them tutor me and help me understand the course better. I also spoke about my pains with my loved ones who encouraged me. Their guide and support made the rewrite journey an easier one.
- Focus on Your Strengths: I acknowledged my strengths and allowed myself to fuel my study patterns with confidence, albeit a little adjustment. I still did what I knew how to do best, but with a little more intensity and prayers.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity: I didn’t spend countless days mourning the ‘F’. I geared myself into positivity by making sure I didn’t abandon the activities that bring me joy. I took care of myself, as well as spent more time with uplifting and positive people who believe in my potentials.
- Visualize Success: Even before the rewrite, I could already visualize my ‘A’. Visualization boosts confidence and motivation. By doing so, I knew I could never ever afford to fail myself twice. So, it helped me buckle up.
- Do Positive Self Affirmations: I had written positive affirmations I say to myself always. They helped me rewire my thoughts and build a more positive mindset.
- Learn From Successful People: I spent time reading up on great people who failed many times before they succeeded. Their stories inspired me a great deal and helped me understand that what happened to me was simply part of life.
- Don’t Compare Yourself to Others: I allowed myself to understand that everyone’s journey is unique and that comparing myself to others only brings unnecessary pressures. So, I learnt to focus on my own progress and growth; irrespective of whatever it was that may have happened.
- Discussion Groups: I joined discussion groups where we study together as well as do joint tasks. Discussing my challenges with classmates helped me a lot in discovering better study techniques; as well as getting new insights on various topics. I also opened myself up to feedbacks on my errors especially on where and where I needed to do better whenever we had tasks to tackle.
- Stay Persistent: Success often times requires perseverance. I never stopped working towards the goal of getting that ‘A’.
- Believe in Yourself: I made sure I never gave up on myself and my abilities. I focused on the positive aspects of my life and never stopped expressing gratitude to God despite what happened.
Failing is a natural part of life my darling. How you respond to the failure is all that matters. If you believe your journey on earth is filled with possibilities, you will see yourself always striving to become a better version of yourself instead of brooding over your failures.
That ‘F’ in almighty constitutional law would have been the end of my law career. I was just in 2nd year in the University when it happened. So, I could have run back and abandoned the whole program. But no, I went right back in after applying all I listed above with perseverance and determination and I came out with my flag flying bright with ‘A’.
My dearest young chap who is probably where I was years ago right now, draw strength from my experience and then look at the person in your mirror and tell him or her ‘YOU CAN’! I wish you all the best…